Why So Many Women Lack Body Wisdom
You’re not broken. You’ve just been fed a masterclass in disconnection. Let’s break it down.
Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything right—and yet, something’s still off? Like you’re spinning your wheels in a wellness hamster wheel, wondering why you don’t feel radiant, connected, or grounded?
You’re not broken. You’ve just been fed a masterclass in disconnection.
Let’s break it down.
Hyper-Independence: The Lone Wolf Syndrome
We need to talk about hyper-independence—the silent saboteur of connection. Somewhere along the way, we were taught that asking for help is weak. That vulnerability is unsafe. That if you want something done right, do it yourself. This “I’ve got it all handled” vibe might look like success on the outside, but inside, it’s exhausting.
Maybe this is a wound from your childhood, a past relationship, or a product of the current societal standards. It was for me—a subconscious broken record that kept me small, trapped, and definitely not sexy. I thought I was winning the game by being the ultimate “I-don’t-need-anyone” girl, but what I was really doing was running myself ragged and shutting out the very support I desperately desired.
This over-reliance on yourself creates an internal split. Your body craves support—both from others and from you. But you’re too busy holding it all together, stuffing your calendar with wellness activities to numb the deeper truth: you feel unsupported. Wellness girlie routines can’t fix this. What can? Softening. Receiving. Admitting you need help and letting your body exhale.
Restrictive Living: Detox, Deplete, Repeat
Diet culture may have rebranded into “clean living,” but the shame game is alive and well. Now it’s not just about being thin; it’s about being pure. Cue the endless detoxes, fasting protocols, and restrictive diets that make your life so rigid you’re afraid to eat a damn piece of bread.
Now, don’t misunderstand me—this is not your permission slip to live off processed junk and say, “but I felt like it!” We all know the body needs organic, nutrient-rich foods to fuel it. But this is about when you live with a stranglehold on your plate, refusing yourself anything that feels indulgent or joyful, you create a pleasureless existence that backfires every time. The constant deprivation isn’t virtuous—it’s suffocating.
True Body Wisdom is about embracing an 80/20 lifestyle, where nourishment and pleasure coexist. It’s not about “cheating” or falling off the wagon; it’s about eating and living in a way that feels expansive. Because when you give yourself permission to enjoy life while also honouring your body’s needs, you stop swinging between extremes. You stop the detox-binge-repeat cycle and step into a place of trust, where your body and your soul feel genuinely fed.
Wellness Overload
Ever feel like your wellness routine is another job? Your days are packed with colour-coded schedules of supplements, Pilates classes, meditation apps, and biohacking gadgets, but the question remains: Why don’t I feel better?
It’s frustrating, isn’t it? You’re doing everything “right,” and yet the glow, the ease, and the alignment you’re chasing still feel out of reach.
This is what happens when wellness becomes performative. It’s not about how many tools or rituals you can cram into a day—it’s about intention. When you’re obsessively “doing” wellness, it can just become another mask, another way to control, and yes, another distraction. Filling your calendar with self-care can be just as numbing as binge-watching TV or scrolling endlessly on your phone if you’re not addressing the deeper issues underneath.
Here’s the hard truth: wellness can’t fix what you’re avoiding. Your relentless pursuit of the “perfect” routine might be an unconscious attempt to run from discomfort, to fill an emptiness that no green juice or meditation app can reach. Body Wisdom isn’t about chasing perfection—it’s about creating space to feel, to connect, to be. It’s about stripping back, not adding more.
The Deep-Seated Lack of Support
Why do so many of us feel the need to “do it all”? Because we don’t feel supported—by society, by systems, by partners, even by ourselves. For centuries, women have been taught to endure, to keep the peace, and to put everyone else first. That conditioning runs so deep it whispers, You’re on your own, girl.
But here’s the truth: your body wasn’t designed to operate in isolation. It thrives in connection, collaboration, and reciprocity. If you’re constantly running on empty, it’s not because you’re weak; it’s because you were never meant to carry everything alone. The most radical act of self-love is unlearning the belief that you have to. Start small: ask for help, receive it without guilt, and remember—thriving isn’t about doing it all; it’s about knowing you don’t have to.
Narratives We’re Breaking
Let’s look at some other stories we’ve been sold and flip the script:
“Being busy means you’re successful.” No, being aligned means you’re successful. Busyness is often a trauma response, a distraction, or a societal badge of honour that robs you of joy and presence. True success is about living in a way that feels rich, not rushed.
“Your body’s symptoms are a nuisance to silence.” False. Your symptoms are not inconveniences; they’re love notes from your body trying to get your attention. Listen to them. They’re a road map to deeper connection.
“Rest is indulgent.” Absolutely not. Rest is productive. It’s in the pauses that your body heals, your mind clears, and your creativity flourishes.
“You have to earn your worth.” No, babe. You were born worthy. Your value is not tied to your output, your appearance, or your ability to caretake for everyone else.
“In pain? Just take a painkiller.” Nope. Pain isn’t just something to mask so you can keep grinding—it’s your body’s signal that something deeper needs attention. Ignoring or numbing it doesn’t make you stronger or more productive; it keeps you disconnected from your body’s wisdom. Strength is in addressing the root cause, not silencing the symptoms to push through.
“Feminine energy is for woo-woo women.” Wrong. Feminine energy isn’t about dancing under the moon (unless you want to). It’s about unleashing your innate power—your intuition, creativity, and flow. The idea that feminine energy is “woo” is just another way the world dismisses what it can’t control. In reality, tapping into your feminine is one of the most grounded, badass moves you can make. It’s not fluffy—it’s fierce.
“Your health is out of your hands.” Wrong. While genetics and circumstances play a role, you hold the power to create vibrant health by partnering with your body instead of outsourcing your agency.
“Hustle now, enjoy life later.” Nope. Life is happening right now. Your joy, your pleasure, and your fulfillment are not rewards you earn someday; they’re states you can cultivate today.
“You need to control your body to be healthy.” No. Health isn’t about control; it’s about collaboration. Stop treating your body like an unruly employee and start treating it like a wise friend.
“Women are naturally moody and hormonal.” False. Our cycles are not a curse or a liability—they’re a superpower. When we honour our infradian rhythm, we unlock vitality and creativity instead of struggling against it.
Reclaiming Body Wisdom: The Pivot
If you’re reading this, it’s time to stop playing small and start the pivot. Here’s the truth: your body is your greatest teacher. She’s been sending you messages all along, but the world trained you to mute them. Building Body Wisdom is about unmuting her.
Start listening: When you’re tired, rest. When you’re hungry, eat. When you’re overwhelmed, pause. It’s that simple—and that radical.
Prioritise nourishment over punishment: Ditch the restriction and embrace abundance. Eat foods that make you feel alive. Move in ways that feel joyful.
Lean into support: Ask for help. Create community. Let yourself receive.
The Quiet Rebellion
Here’s the juicy part: reclaiming Body Wisdom isn’t just about you. It’s a rebellion against every narrative that’s told women to shrink, to hustle, to shut up and soldier on. It’s about saying, “Enough.” It’s about reclaiming your pleasure, your health, your power.
It starts with small, defiant acts of self-love. Dance in your kitchen. Eat the damn croissant. Rest without guilt. Feel into your body and let her guide you. Because when you trust her, she will show you the way home.
And babe, home is you. Let’s go.